The Entitled, Monsters are Created not Born - Update - Van der Sloot

This hub is not a scientific study, nor am I an expert on child rearing or child psychology. Just an avid amateur crime buff and mom. As most of the world has heard, unless you've been vacationing under a rock, 21 year old Joran van der Sloot has been arrested, for questioning, in the violent murder of Peruvian student Stephany Flores.

While partaking in the various news reports of his second run-in with the law (his first was regarding the disappearance of US citizen and student Natalee Holloway, in May of 2005). I noted, curiously, the use of a particular word in describing the young man's upbringing.

The word was "entitled"; to give (a person or thing) a title, right, or claim to something. Rearing a child who has never heard the word "no", a human raised without knowledge of boundaries, allowing them to feel entitled to anything and everything without learning or suffering the consequences of their actions or choices.

The report stated that Joran's parents gave him all his heart desired, never uttering the word no. When a child never hears "no" from a parent or authority figure this can lead, in my opinion, to disrespect of that person of authority, and any outside authority figures. Coupled with this feeling of entitlement his lack of boundaries, and lack of respect for others whom they must share space within this sphere.

According to Beth Holloway, Natalee's mother, she noted during her initial impromptu interview with Van der Sloot twelve hours after her daughter disappearance;

"the young man was very disrespectful of the adults confronting him, snide and vulgar in his telling of his last meeting with Natalee".

Typical behavior for those who experience a feeling of entitlement, a sociopath devoid of remorse or guilt.

The function of wisdom is to discriminate between good and evil. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

On Wednesday, January 13, 2012 Joran Van der Sloot was sentenced to 28 years in the "qualified murder and simple robbery" of Peruvian student Stephany Tatiana Flores Ramirez.

On that day the slovenly dressed perpetrator looked bored and sleepy as if the court proceedings were annoying, interrupting his beauty sleep. Joran received 28 years, but may only do 14 because of a work program, which will allow a reduction in sentence, and time served. By the by his work while incarcerated, Joran assembles rosaries!

Other perks, he'll do time in a hell hole, compared to our American penal system. The kind of time you do is contingent on the size of your wallet. Rumor has it Van der Sloot has a big screen TV, and cell phone access and from the looks of him no want of food or drink. Mr. Flores, Stephany's father, stated in a news conference after the trial "He lives as a king and my daughter is dead".

The South American government is trying to pass new legislation regarding rampant corruption in their prison system, its all too little too late for this sleaze bag. One stipulation is that Van der Sloot is to be deported after his release, which is scary. What they'll release, in all probability, is a budding serial killer made more knowledgeable and dangerous by this incarceration.

Joran Van der Sloot is the poster child for the sociopath, manipulative accomplished liars, who focus only on "the ends justify the means" clueless to the consequences of their action.

On the January 12, 2012 Natalee Holloway was pronounced legally deceased.

Nobody wins, everybody loses.

Scott Peterson, became infamous for the murder of his wife, Laci and their unborn son Conner in 2002. The word "entitled" popped up again regarding his upbringing also. His parents stated that his feet literally never left the ground the first year of his life. This was because he was carried everywhere until be began walking. Titled "Mr. Perfect" by family and acquaintances at the age of 14. He later breezed through life, never hearing no, never taught or experienced boundaries, again never realizing consequences for his actions and life choices.

Peterson's parent's subsidized his adult life, his home, his business. It appears as if he could have had a promising career as a golf pro. It's uncertain why he choose to play the role of husband and prospective father when it is clear, through his violent actions this was clearly not the path he sought.

The aforementioned seems to be a lasting side effect of the entitled . They are unable to make mature adult life choices moved more by how they feel in the moment than real thought out decision making. Self centered thinking is an anchor of the entitled personality as is lying. The self proclaimed entitled are consummate liars.  Very adapt at creating falsehoods to keep up the facade of perfection to their enablers.

It was said that while the jury was still out on its life changing decision in Peterson's trial he was intensely trying to find the golf channel in lockup. Eventhough his actions may stun some I'm not surprised. Peterson, and those that suffer this form of neglect, are clueless on how to respond in situations where their very lives may hang in the balance.

A survey, conducted by the Sacred Heart University Polling Institute, found that 83% of the American public agree that our youth feel more entitled than 10 years ago.

During one of the family interviews of Oprah's Debt Diet Series, Dr. Robin Smith gave some insight to family matron Marnie Widlund, regarding one of the reasons for the family debt woes, over spending on clothes. The children (two mid teen daughters) played their parents to get what they wanted;

"It's neglectful to not give our children boundaries," Dr. Robin says. "Boundaries are a form of love."

Marnie says she was never denied anything growing up, and never had to face any negative consequences—but Dr. Robin says otherwise. "You are paying the consequences right now," Dr. Robin points out to Marnie; "The fact that [your parents] did not have boundaries ... that is a form of neglect that you have now passed on."

I too disagree with Marnie's statement. If our children do not experience the good times and the bad, doing without, or "no" how will they know how to deal with these situations when they eventually arise in adulthood? This does not make you nor I a bad parent, but if you truly love your offspring, you must place boundaries and teach them the reality of growing up outside the nest. People in the world will not love your child as you do, will not care if your child gets what they need emotionally and physically to survive in this cold world.

Most parents don't consult parenting books on how to raise our children. We trudge along through trial and error all doing the best we can. I don't know of one parent that hasn't pledged to give our young all we never had or anything that their heart desires, but doing so may cripple the child you love. Leaving him/her ill equipped to tackle life's daily challenges once they reach adulthood.

Too much of anything can be harmful . . . all things in moderation.